Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Veep Creep

By Larry Mondello

Sorry, I have been missing for awhile. Who is Betty Ford, anyway?

As for the latest round of Dickie Get Your Gun, It's kinda like the choice between liver and onions or carrot cake. Neither one excites me much.

I can't get behind the firestorm of journalisticos who are aghast at the thought of the White House Press Corps not knowing that the VP pulled an Elmer Fudd and shot his pal. I also don't hold much sympathy for Big Dick -- the weapon of mass destruction -- who is so gracious that he is now "taking full responsibility."

At least he finally takes responsibility for something.

As for the press, their whining won't get them very far with the public. But, I do think the VP and his staff, Karl R, etc., should have listened to the advice of the White House Press office and notified the national press asap. Not because they deserved to know immediately, but because someone should have seen that it would become an issue. Disclose and avert a controversy.

Oh, and Brit Hume: Did ya swallow?


At 4:00 PM, Anonymous Bucky Feinstein said...

From the New York Daily News and sung to the tune of Irving Berlin's "You Can't Get a Man With a Gun.") Sing it, babies!

I'm quick with the buckshot
And you all know the upshot:
Yes, there's blood when the day is done
But here's what is scary —
I meant to hit John Kerry
Oh, you can't trust a Dick with a gun.
When I'm giving orders
Or hiding from reporters
You can bet that I'm having fun!
But when it comes to aiming,
Just call me "Auntie Maim-ing"
Oh, you can't trust a Dick with a gun.
With a gun, with a gun,
No, you can't trust a Dick with a gun.
When I was a draftee,
I thought of something crafty:
I told them I had to run.
But now that I'm grown up,
I like to see things blown up
And I may shoot a male on the trail like a quail
So you can't trust a Dick with a gun.
If I go out shootin',
I'm just like Vladdy Putin:
I turn red as the setting sun
But when blood starts a-spurtin',
It ain't at Halliburton
No, you can't trust Dick with a gun.
I'm tough as a marlin
With someone else's darlin'
When the war I insist be won.
But it hurts me a fair spot
To see a millionaire shot,
No, you can't trust a Dick with a gun.
With a gun, with a gun.
No you can't trust a Dick with a gun
If you seek reduction
In weps of mass destruction
I believe I can find you one.
Okay, I'm confessin':
It's my sweet Smith & Wesson
'Cause I shoot like a coot and I start wars to boot!
No, you can't trust a Dick with a gun.


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