Wednesday, May 17, 2006

What Happened to Chase?

By Cassandra D

For those of you who are wondering why Chase hasn't posted in a while, let me, er...cut to the chase.

It is my solemn duty to inform everyone that a few nights ago Chase was whisked away in the dead of night in a dark sedan by men wearing earpieces and navy blue suits. We think he was sent to Gitmo or to one of the CIA's black sites. Our only clue: in his draft of tomorrow's Sex Tape Derby were photos of the Bush twins.


Chase wanted me to send his apologies for being absent. He's had a rough week but hopes last night was the worst of it. It seems that last night he and Mrs. Chase were up with little Apple Rosebud, cleaning up puke and, uh, poopy in the baby's first ever illness. He tells me that she is much better today but it was a rough night. Apparently watching a five-month-old throw up is rather alarming, kind of like watching a smelly liquid flamethrower in action, with the added worry that the kid might choke.

Chase'll be back for STD tomorrow, without the Bush twins.


At 1:46 PM, Anonymous flamewhore said...

Are you sure he will be coming back? Do Americans still have their freedom of speech? That baby story is a good line, but I think the President wouldn't want to Chase to sully the reputation of the Bush twins.


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