Crumbs and Stuff, Take 3

Here's a curiously heartwarming story courtesy of the Boston Herald: An alcoholic waiter drinks himself into a coma and is only brought out of it when his boss visits him in the hospital and growls, "Get your ass back to work."

According to the Herald, "Five minutes later, in a whisper that hit a Massachusetts General Hospital room like a thunderbolt, [comatose patient Bill] DiPasquale awoke saying, 'I've got to get to work.' His would-be mourners were stunned."

I'll tell you why they were stunned. They were stunned that an asshole of a boss would march into a hospital room and order his comatose employee back to work. Where's the union when you need it?

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Uh-oh. Hustler magazine horny toad Larry Flynt says he is set to publish photos of Paris Hilton in heavy petting action with (knock me over with a feather) another woman. You know what that means: Paris Hilton still won't go away.

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The Blog of Death is a more sensitive site than it sounds, and definitely worth checking out. Think of it as an oasis of obituaries -- unless you have an aversion to alliteration, that is.

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From the Pointless Trends Department: Reason surveys the cultural landscape of 2004, from the strings-attached sextravaganza of "Team America: World Police" to the Broadway success of "Avenue Q," and concludes 2004 was the Year of Puppet Sex.