The Ladies of "SNL"
In response to a query from a close friend and avid reader -- whom we will call Buck Nekkid, as per his unorthodox request -- we humbly present the following list of the All-Time Top Ten female hotties to have graced "Saturday Night Live."
While the following list of celebrity babes might appear to smack of hormone-addled immaturity (there, I said it and I feel better for having said it), please rest assured that such a perception is only an illusion.
10. Ana Gasteyer
Interesting face with kind of a squinty-eyed-Ellen Barkin-thing going on, her dead-on impersonation of Martha Stewart even managed to spice up the sex appeal of America's Do-It-Yourself Diva.
9. Molly Shannon
A terrific physical comedianne whose subsequent movie career has been disappointing (although she's set to co-star in Sofia Coppola's next movie, which is promising). Still, we yearn for her notably limber "SNL" antics: "I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it!"
8. Jane Curtin
Classically attractive and a great straight woman (in the comedic sense, that is), Jane always seemed a bit too well-heeled for the original Not-Ready-for-Primetime Players. Even so, she made an excellent "ignorant slut."
7. Victoria Jackson
The quintessential dumb blonde caricature wore thin, but we thought she was sexy in the way Betty Boop is sexy (yes, yes, I know she's a cartoon). Besides, we still liked Victoria's high-steppin' rendition of "I Am Not a Bimbo."
6. Maya Rudolph
Among the new crop of gifted "SNL"ers, her Donatella Versace impression can be a bit grating, but damn she looks fine in a wig and skimpy dress.
5. Cheri Oteri
Maybe we're just inordinately fond of any actress who dons a cheerleader outfit (OK, not just any actress; Tori Spelling comes to mind, f'r instance), but it helps, too, that Cheri Oteri is an attractive version of Imogene Coca.
4. Amy Poehler
This blonde funny woman has proven to be an excellent addition co-anchoring "Weekend Update" with Tina Fey. And, of course, she's a definite cutie.
3. Julia Louis-Dreyfus
OK, so her stint at "SNL" made Anthony Michael-Hall look like a comparative skit-comedy veteran, but there's no denying she's as much a hottie as she is funny.
2. Jan Hooks
A personal favorite of ours, Jan Hooks is one of the forgotten great comedic actresses of "SNL" -- and mighty sexy, to boot. And she earned bonus points for injecting a type of sultriness to impersonations of icons as disparate as Diane Sawyer and Jessica Hahn.
1. Tina Fey
The undisputed champ of "Saturday Night Live" hotties. Those lips! Those eyes! Those smart-girl glasses! And best of all, she has a razor-sharp sense of humor, having served as chief writer for the show and as screenwriter of the flick Mean Girls.
So there you have it, Buck. Next time, I'm gonna go ahead and pursue that Top 10 Finnish Mathematicians list you talked me out of.