Thursday, March 24, 2005

Sexy and Cheerleading Don't Mix

First they came for the slimy energy companies that had pissed away their employees' life savings, but I was not an energy company employee. And so I said nothing.

Then they came for all the obscene words and actions on the television, but I was not even paying much attention to network TV anymore. And so I said nothing.

And then they came for all the carb- and calorie-rich junk food, but I was needing to lose some lbs. myself. And so I said nothing.

But then they came for the sexy high school cheerleading.

And that's when these cultural bombthrowers went too far.

ABC News has followed the crusade of Texas state Rep. Al Edwards. Armed with a bill to outlaw sexy cheerleading, this Democratic legislator has apparently spent far too many brisk Lone Star evenings huddled up in the bleachers, watching the cheerleaders gyrate and slither their way into his subconscious, a synapse-snappin' no-man's-land of frying pan sizzle and jailbait fantasies.

"Under Edwards' bill, if a school district knowingly permits such a performance, funds from the state would be reduced in an amount to be determined by the education commissioner," reported ABC.

Stop the madness.


At 10:48 AM, Anonymous Hortense Scabbard said...

It is only a matter of time before a videotape surfaces of Edwards in a crack-strewn hotel room in Houston's Montrose district, being spanked vigorously by hookers wearing Edwards' personal stash of cheerleader uniforms while the weeping, depants'd hypocrite quoteth from Leviticus.

At 10:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hortense Scabbard has some strange fantasies, (see Dr. Tom). S/he needs to contribute to Penthouse Forum.

At 12:30 PM, Anonymous Hortense Scabbard said...

Well, I've been reading Cutting To the Chase for years, and I've always thought Chase's stories were made up, until this amazing thing happened to me at a Promise Keepers convention.

At 11:20 PM, Anonymous Clare DeLune said...

Hello :)

I just wanted to say that it was really very decent of you to link to
my sister's page, Among the Dahlias.
I was surprised and happy to see that you had done so and I will be sure to tell her when I visit her.

I adore reading Hortense Scabbard's opinions.

Thanks again.

Yours turly,


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