Pissed Off

As a product of the Seventies, I remember well the whole CB radio craze and that God-awful C.W. McCall song "Convoy," which celebrated the fun of talking to truckers in a lingo befitting a Little Orphan Annie decoder ring.

Funny thing is, I remember all the gibberish about bears and smokey and the like, but I don't recall much talk about tossing big jugs of piss out the window of moving vehicles.

But apparently trucker tee-tee has become a big headache for the poor schlubs tasked with cleaning up along America's roadways.

The Cleveland Plain Dealer reports on the urinary litter:

"Maybe you never noticed speeding by at 65 mph, but urine-filled containers are increasingly piling up along America's roadways. Litter watchers say it's an unsettling trend that started in the West and moved quickly east to Ohio and beyond."

Dubbed "trucker bombs" because they are primarily the handiwork of truckers and tend to explode when hit by a mower, states such as West Virginia and North Dakota have even retrofitted piss-resistant shields on their mowing equipment.

Reporter Amanda Garrett goes on to explain that the trucker bomb has grown so prevalent that it forced a change in a training video for one Ohio program that enlists juvenile delinquents for roadside cleanup.

" 'We had to tell them not to eat or drink anything they find along the roadway because they think it's hilarious when they do,' said Jill Meyers, the program's manager. 'Kids find this stuff and think it's Mountain Dew,' she said. 'They probably clean up a lot more [urine] than they ever realize.' "

With apologies to Charlton Heston, it appears that Mountain Dew, like Soylent Green ... is people.

It's people!