Bernie, We Hardly Knew Ye

How fleeting it all was. Bernard Kerik, the Man Who Would Be Homeland Security King, was forced to turn down the appointment because a former housekeeper and nanny of his might have been in the country illegally.

In a Dec. 10 letter to President Bush, the former New York City police commissioner said recently discovered information "now leads me to question the immigration status of a person who had been in my employ as a housekeeper and nanny."

But at least we'll have the memories. Oh, what might have been. We will always remember the Bernard Kerik with a spring in his step. The Bernard Kerik with a song in his heart. The Bernard Kerik who could make play the cello like a virtuoso and make grown men cry to the strains of Vivaldi.

Oh, wait. I think I'm talking about a different Bernard Kerik.

Seriously, though: What is the deal with would-be Cabinet appointees and illegals working as nannies? Zoe Baird, Linda Chavez and Kimba Wood are among those who fell victim to the fact that you just can't find good help that's legal these days. It's a mighty strange world when a guy with as rich and varied a career as Kerik's can be tripped up by the cleaning woman.

Meanwhile, Kerik's ex-housekeeper has returned to her native country.