The Apprentice Scared Straight

America's most resourceful jailbird, Martha Stewart, will soon host "The Apprentice." The New York Times reports that once Martha is released from federal prison next month and placed under house arrest (only in America), she will host the reality TV program as she searches for an assistant to help run Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia.

"While she is known for her household advice and cooking skills, the show will focus much more on the business and marketing acumen she used to build a multibillion-dollar company and try to reveal a side of her that was not a prominent part of her previous television persona. Its featured contestants - probably 18 per season - will not be baking cakes or making wreaths but competing in tasks much like those on Mr. Trump's show, except in the lifestyle, not the real-estate, business."

Well, well, well. A mogul convicted for shady business practices will host a reality TV game in which she makes contestants jump through hoops for a slice of her business.

By that logic, we humbly submit our next contestant for TV's "The Bachelor."