This Just In! That If-the-Glove-Doesn't-Fit-You-Must-Acquit Guy Is Dead!

Legendary criminal defense attorney Johnnie Cochran is dead of an inoperable brain tumor. He was 67.

As you know, Cochran's greatest professional acclaim came when he won an acquittal for wife killer O.J. Simpson -- er, I guess that should be ex-wife killer -- but would you really want this headline to be your earthly legacy?: "Simpson: 'Cochran Gave Me My Freedom.' "

As far as calling cards for the Pearly Gates go, it might leave a lot to be desired. Even so, Cochran will still have less to answer for than, say, all those bastards who actually answer their cell phones with a normal tone of voice in movie theaters ...