"The Night Stalker" Cometh

I know it's as likely to suck as a Hilton sister on Ecstasy, but there is a small glimmer of geeked-out-beyond-all-self-respect excitement bubbling in my brain over ABC's new fall schedule. Specifically, the network's reworking of "Kolchak: The Night Stalker" has my nostalgic heart all a-flutter.

Even better, the newly imagined remake will follow "Alias," which is certain to at least give the program a fighting chance.

For those of you who might not recall the woefully short-lived original, "Kolchak: The Night Stalker" starred Darren McGavin as Carl Kolchak, an intrepid Chicago news reporter who, wouldn't you know it, always inadvertently ended up on the monster beat, looking into news stories that involved vampires and aliens and the like. As an added bonus, the series, which lasted for only the 1974-75 TV season, also allowed Kolchak's long-suffering boss, played by perennially constipated Simon Oakland, to indulge in lots of bellow and bluster.

Alas, this new "Night Stalker" sounds a lot like a microwaved version of "The X-Files," a series that actually owed much to the old "Kolchak." Funny how Los Angeles continues to cannibalize its own ideas. But, hey, if the City of Angels is so limber that it can please itself, more power to it. At least it's safe sex.