Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Oh, Lord, Terrorists Stuck in Lodi Again

Federal agents have arrested a father and son in Lodi, California, on suspicion of being Al Qaeda terrorists. Associated Press reports that Hamid Hayat admitted to authorities last Friday that he had attended terrorist camp (which, incidentally, pretty much summarized my views of summer camp as a kid) in Pakistan.

"In the course of weapons training, Hayat said photos of President Bush and other American political figures were pasted onto targets, the affidavit said. At the end of training, participants were given the opportunity to choose the nation in which their attacks would be carried out."

If nothing else, perhaps Americans can seek a bit of solace that Al Qaeda terrorist camps are so cheesy and low-tech that they are relegated to pasting pictures of U.S. leaders on bull's eyes. Talk about lame. What's next? The glowering mugs of our enemies plastered on playing cards? Oh, wait ... uh, never mind.

But back to our regularly scheduled story:

'' 'Hamid advised that he specifically requested to come to the United States to carry out his jihadi mission,' according to the affidavit. 'Potential targets for attack included hospitals and large food stores.' "

If you've had the misfortune of shopping at a Wal-Mart grocery during the first of the month, then you know that a jihad might at least speed up the lines there a bit.

Of course, perhaps most intriguing is that federal agents are zeroing in on the possibility of an Al Qaeda network in Lodi, which AP describes blandly as "an agricultural town 40 miles south of Sacramento."

How in the name of Willie and the Poor Boys can someone mention Lodi in a news story without referencing the great Creedence Clearwater Revival song of the same name is -- well, it's beyond me.

But there you go. No one ever accused AP of being particularly cool.


At 4:06 PM, Blogger Dr. Pants said...

It can low-tech all they want, I see nothing wrong with pasting the faces of my enemies on targets or stuffed dolls and then taking out my thirsty rage upon them.

As soon as I can find a large enough mannequin, I'm putting Dick Cheney's face on it and teaching my dogs to attack at the word "Halliburton."

Christ, I foam at the mouth just thinking of it. ARF! Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...


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