Friday, July 15, 2005

Sex Tape Derby: Birds Do It, Bees Do It, Even Irish Sleazes Do It ...

Not to gloat or anything, but I made the claim some time ago (not aloud or anything, but it was in my head, trust me) that it was only a matter of time until every celebrity on the planet with functioning genitalia and AA batteries ends up making a homemade sex video. Well, looks like ol' Chase is kind of a modern-day Nostradamus or Jeanne Dixon, or whichever one correctly predicted that whole thing about the end of the world.

Add Colin Farrell to the ever-swelling (heh, heh) list of A-list exhibitionists.

The infallible New York Post's Page Six reports that Farrell and ex-Playboy playmate Nicole Narain are the latest couple who likely committed a game of hide-the-salami to videotaped immortality. According to the rag, a man identifying himself only as J.J. (not to be confused with the deceased MTV veejay of yesteryear) contacted the paper and claimed to have in his possession the 14-minute sex tape, which supposedly was shot two years ago:

"J.J. described the steamy tape in graphic detail, starting with a naked Nicole in her living room turning on some music, and ending with Farrell pointing the camera at her white cat in the corner of the room and saying, 'Baby, you have the most beautiful [kitty].'

"In between, Narain, who was Miss January in 2002, displays her pierced tongue as she looks up at the camera and winks. And Farrell, who had a shaved head for his role in Daredevil, reciprocates, saying, 'I could do this breakfast, lunch and dinner.' "

Nice. That sort of dialogue makes George Lucas sound like Chekhov.

On a quasi-related note, deserves some sort of award for suggesting the film title of Bone Booth, just in case the tape ends up winning wide release. It's gotta be better than Bewitched.


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