Sex Tape Derby, Round 53
Welcome to another edition of Sex Tape Derby. Put on those smut-addled thinking caps, boys and girls, and ponder the following Zen koans -- well, that is if koans were not mystical paradoxes that opened the soul to spiritual revelation but instead focused on who you'd rather watch getting their freak on in a homemade videotape or DVD.
Post your selections in the comments section below.
Poor maligned Jack Abramoff ...
Or poor maligned Lewis "Scooter" Libby?
Heather Locklear ...
Or "Scrubs'" Sarah Chalke?
posted by Chase McInerney @ 7:05 AM
7 comments
7 Comments:
1. It's a real toss up, huh? I mean, everybody is looking for video of these two doing dirty deeds. Sadly, the only ones who got screwed by these two were the American people. (And the people of the Marianas, in Abramoffs case.)
Let's go with "The Hebrew Hammer" Jack, if for no other reason than the fedora might make an appearance.
2. Chalke Chalke Chalke. The "Scrubs" ep when imaginary Elliot is hitting on Turk in the naughty nurse outfit haunts my dreams.
I didn't know Sarah Chalke was cross-eyed...
1. Libby, because I'm afraid that Abramoff's sex tape would feature him doing some kind of homoerotic striptease in front of Tom Delay to the strains of "You Can Leave Your Hat On."
2. Chalke. Whenever she leans in for a kiss on "Scrubs," she looks like she's ready to deep throat a haggis. It's funny, unsettling and way hot, all at once.
1. Abramoff. A striptease, even one in front of Tom Delay, beats anything involving Dick Cheney.
2. Chalke, though that haggis thing almost caused me to chang my mind. Brick, you may want get yourself checked out.
That's why I'm here.
No love for Heather? Well, I'll go with Becky Conner v2.0, too, just because we haven't been looking at her for three decades.
And what's the deal with the cliffhanger? JD knocks up a chick?! Scrubs may have jumped the shark.
Let's see . . . Ollie North or the Grim Reaper. Don't fear the Reaper, I'll take him.
And I guess Heather cause I have to agree that Sarah Chalke looks like a little like Marty Feldman in that pic.
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