Sex Tape Derby, Round 38
Thursday is Smutday here at CTTC, or at least I'd like to think so. If you aren't familiar with the intricacies of Sex Tape Derby, read here. Otherwise, just figure out which of the following you would rather have to view in a homemade sex tape or DVD (or hologram, if you wanna go get all kooky 'n' shit). Post your selections in the comments section below. And take two aspirin and call me in the morning.
Linda Cardellini or
Amy Adams?
Jude Law or
Eric Bana?
posted by Chase McInerney @ 5:53 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
1. Velma. You know it has to be Velma. Not that she wasn't hot on "Freaks and Geeks" or anything, but as soon as Linda Cardellini made Velma sexy, that was it. And that tape better as hell also feature Fred and Daphne. (Not that anybody wants to see "Freddie"'s Freddie Prinze Jr., but for the symmetry of it.)
2. As long as I'm going the character route, Hulk smash woman's expectation about wild, rough sex. Hulk love you long time. Hulk give you tissue to clean green stuff off of face and hair.
1. Who needs symmetry? Just Velma and Daphne turning the Mystery Machine into their own Sapphic bacchanal on wheels would be a delectable Scooby snack, indeed. Amy Adams almost won, if only because she's scrumpmunchshus and engages in a good wank in "Junebug."
2. Law, because of all the indiscriminate bedhopping with slutty au pairs and charming limey crumpets/strumpets who love to parade about in outrageously bad remakes of Albert Finney films wearing only a men's dress shirt and nothing else.
Could you put a link to a dictionary on here? Thanks.
Another STD, another group of contestants I don't know. Clearly, I should be playing VH1's "I STD the 80's."
So I guess the chicks were in the Scooby Doo movie. And if someone can make Velma hot, then you gotta go with her. But wasn't Buffy in that movie? Oh, I love me some Buffy Muffy.
I've actually heard of Jude Law, but didn't realize he was in the Village People. Good for him - I hear leather bars are making a comeback. The other guy looks like the bastard child of Costello and Springsteen. Angst City, baby!
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