Sex Tape Derby, Round 68
Sex Tape Derby is in a decidedly retro mood these days. Maybe it's the suddenly bearable autumnal weather, or maybe it's watching friends suddenly faced with the fact of their getting old, or maybe it was waxing nostalgic last week about Playboy's Playmate of November 1974, Bebe Buell. Whatever the reason, this week's STD looks at more icons of yesteryear for this imponderable. Given the prospect of having to (and I say "having to" and not "getting to" for all you upstanding church-going folk in the audience) view a homemade celebrity sex tape, who would you rather watch getting off while getting it on?
Post your selections in the comments sections below.
Old-school Faye Dunaway or ...
Old-school Katherine Ross?
Nineties-era Robert De Niro or ...
Nineties-era Al Pacino?
posted by Chase McInerney @ 7:32 AM
10 comments
10 Comments:
Kat had an intoxicating mix of girl next door, flower child, and sex kitten. The kinda gal you want to take home to Mom, then sneak out back for a joint and a hummer.
Dunaway always looked 20 yrs older than her age.
Pacino vs De Niro is a toss-up. Either way, it’s going to play out like Grand Theft Auto: find whore, defile whore, beat whore w/ bat, shoot whore in head w/ semi-automatic, take whore's money.
1. Ross. Even though that pic of Faye makes her look like Scarlett Johansson, it's Katie that will make you rethink a torrid affair with her hot, slutty mom.
2. De Niro. Al has looked like he was Keith Richards' stunt double for a long time now, but Bobby used to be...ehn. Not as bad.
Sadly, he's on the career vs. waistline inverse proportion diet. The more shitty horror movies and crap-ass comedies he does, the fatter his ass gets.
1. Katherine Ross, without hesitation. She was the most respectably hot brunet of the late-60s/early 70s Hollywood gold rush, and unlike her closest competitor, Ali McGraw, she could act. Also unlike McGraw, we'll never know if Cokie McSnortfuck, Robert Evans, ever did marching powder off Katherine's perfect, creamy breasts.
2. De Niro, because you get the added bonus of watching him bite Ileanna Douglas' face off.
I'd fuck Anne Bancroft to get to Katherine Ross. Hell, I'd fuck Katherine Ross to get to get to Anne Bancroft.
Bobby De Niro and I were at a cock fight in Manilla one Christmas morning, smoking the white horse behind a shed full of underage prostitutes.
A tiny Moroccan man sidled up next to us, tore off his condom and started pissing on the ground, lightly spattering Bobby's shoe with urine.
Bob-o coldcocked him before using some duct tape to hide the man's penis. He sold him to some very drunk Pai-Gow players for free drinks the rest of the night.
But that's nothing like the NFL action you'll see on ESPN.
What the Hell?
Bonnie, in a heartbeat. I've always though Pacino and DeNiro were both gross.
God that's too funny- I'm still laughing at Louis Rukeyser's comment. But it's not close- it's Faye. As the lusty preacher's wife in "Little Big Man", she left a permanent imprint on my soul.
In those days you know with those girls (Ali and Katie) anything and everything happened. Especially in the mid 70's. There were parties happening all the time, Brick. No difference than partying that goes on today.
Faye, if you don't have to stick around (and that's the case watching someone else on disc or tape) there's nothing like a crazy lady.
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