Friday, August 25, 2006

Welcome to Springfield

By Conrad Spencer

Ever wonder whether you're more an Apu or a Mr. Smithers? Ever cringed at the similarities between you and Comic Book Guy? At long last, we have the definitive 5-question test that will, once and for all, identify which Simpsons character you are.

I am Barney:

"You could have been an intellectual leader...Instead, your whole life is an homage to beer. You will be remembered for: your beautiful singing voice and your burps. Your life philosophy: 'There's nothing like beer to give you that inflated sense of self-esteem.'"

If you don't like your Simpsons character, you can always see which alcoholic drink you are (beer) or how Machiavellian you are (somewhat).

Eventually, everyone will find the personality test that will tell them tell them what they want to hear.

7 Comments:

At 11:44 AM, Blogger Chase McInerney said...

I am a Bart Simpson. Cowabunga!

 
At 12:18 PM, Blogger RedDirt said...

Hey I am Bart Simpson, too, dude!

As well as "beer" and "somewhat Machiavellian."

Sounds like your average Gen Xer to me.

"I didn't do it, no one saw me do it, there's no way you can prove anything!" ~Bart Simpson

 
At 7:06 PM, Blogger Leslie said...

Uh... I'm Ned Flanders. Now I'm really depressed.

 
At 8:12 PM, Blogger LiteraryTech said...

LiteraryTech is Lisa Simpson
A total child prodigy and super genius, you have the mind for world domination.

But you prefer world peace, Buddhism, and tofu dogs.

You will be remembered for: all your academic accomplishments

Your life philosophy: "I refuse to believe that everybody refuses to believe the truth"

LiteraryTech is a Martini

You are the kind of drinker who appreciates a nice hard drink.
And for you, only quality alcohol. You don't waste your time on the cheap stuff.

Obviously, you're usually found with a martini in your hand. But sometimes you mix it up with a gin and tonic.
And you'd never, ever consider one of those flavored martinis. They're hardly a drink!

LiteraryTech is Somewhat Machiavellian

You're not going to mow over everyone to get ahead...But you're also powerful enough to make things happen for yourself.

You understand how the world works, even when it's an ugly place. You just don't get ugly yourself - unless you have to!

 
At 10:54 PM, Blogger Dr. Pants said...

I am Bart III. I'm pretty sure the only question that mattered was the one where I said I like to wear shorts and a T-shirt.

Everything else pretty much had me going toward Marge-dom.

 
At 4:00 PM, Anonymous jill_vatican said...

I am Barney. Hmmm. Would not have guessed...

 
At 10:03 PM, Anonymous flamewhore said...

Bart Simpson, too. I think the shorts and t-shirt put me in this category also.

Very misunderstood, most people just dismiss you as "trouble."

Little do they know that you're wise and well accomplished beyond your years.

You will be remembered for: starring in your own TV show and saving the town from a comet

Your life philosophy: "I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!"

 

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