Sex Tape Derby, Round 69
Welcome to a banner edition of Sex Tape Derby. That's right, make this Round 69 for the blog franchise that The New Republic's Peter Beinart calls a "unique window into the collective libido of a desperate and disillusioned nation."
Here's the deal for those who might not be familiar with the setup: Let's say you absolutely, positively must view a homemade sex videotape or DVD. Who would be your paramour of choice? Post your selections in the comments section below. And from all of us here at CTTC, happy Thursday and happy Round 69.
Invincible's Elizabeth Banks or ...
"The Office"'s Jenna Fischer?
Ryan Reynolds or ...
Josh Hartnett?
posted by Chase McInerney @ 7:08 AM
8 comments
8 Comments:
JENNA FISCHER WOULD NEVER, EVER, EVER HAVE SEX IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA. SHE’S A GOOD, SWEET, GIRL AND SHE DOESN’T REALIZE IT YET, BUT SHE LOVES ME VERY MUCH AND AS SOON I MEET HER WE’LL RUN AWAY TOGETHER AND LIVE ON THE BEACH AND HOLD HANDS AND LAUGH AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF AND YOU SHOULD DIE.
Um, maybe I should've specified this, but Sex Tape Derby is meant for people who have dutifuly remained on their meds.
Shit. So I'm disqualified, right?
Well, just in case I get an exemption
1. Jenna Fischer. All the way Jenna, we called her in high school. She swallowed more sausage than a Bavarian.
But, yes, her. Not that Elizabeth Banks isn't hot (as shown in "The 40-Year-Old Virgin), but there's something great about the defiling of the innocent.
I am a registered sex offender.
2. I'll give Ryan the nod if for no other reason than his possible inclusion in a new "Fletch" movie.
Also, when you do a show about two guys a girl and an anything, you know those sex tapes are going to be interesting.
I have no idea who those girls are.
Ryan Reynolds. Because he made Blade: Trinity almost watchable.
1. Jenna, for the same perverted sentiments Dr. Pants gave.
2. Josh, because as Janet in Rocky Horror said, "I don't like men with too many muscles." (Just one big one.)
Judging by the pictures only, I'll go with Reynolds. That pic of Josh Hartnett looks like he could be young enough to be my son. And that's just gross...
1. The thought of choosing between Jenna and Elizabeth just made my testicles detonate.
2. Pants, it looks like Zach Braff might get the Fletch role. The Reynolds tape would be more interesting, because he's capable of more than one facial expression and he might tell a nice, snarky joke while roid raging during ridiculously hottastic sex with "Blade 3" costar Jessica Biel.
Jenna Fischer, though I'm not interested in defiling her, just a lot of sex (which isn't the same, though that might make you say that I'm '...not doing it right.'
Then again, I _always_ found Mary-Ann [sp?] sexier than Ginger.
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