Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Wedding Bell Blues

The Washington Post offers some suggested punitive action for America's favorite scaredy cat bride, Jennifer Wilbanks, who had ducked out on would-be groom John Mason and subsequently sparked a national search.

Our favorite possibilities from the Post:

"Deejay allowed to play only 'The Chicken Dance' at reception.

"Being told 'At least I didn't hop a bus to Vegas' every time she disagrees with John."


At 8:55 AM, Anonymous John Mason said...

So she "didn't feel like she really had done anything wrong."

It's not all that surprising that she'd be that selfish and clueless. She is, after all, a chick.

The real stunner is that I went on tv and professed my undying love for her. She may have left her car keys, but she apparently took my testicles to Vegas. If I don't end up leaving her at the altar or otherwise humiliating her publicly, then I will have disappointed the entire male nation.

At 2:03 PM, Blogger Dr. Pants said...

I don't think she was running away from the groom, really. In every picture I saw, she had this wildly intense look on her face.

My theory is that she to Albuquerque looking for a cheap plastic surgeon to give her some goddamn eyelids.

At 3:15 PM, Anonymous Balthazar Volta said...

That perma-expression freaks me out every time I see it -- it's almost as if she were a "Westworld" automaton, and if you took the plastic face panel off, all you would see were short-circuiting wires and a Da Vinci plate.


Post a Comment

<< Home