Wedding Bell Blues
The Washington Post offers some suggested punitive action for America's favorite scaredy cat bride, Jennifer Wilbanks, who had ducked out on would-be groom John Mason and subsequently sparked a national search.
Our favorite possibilities from the Post:
"Deejay allowed to play only 'The Chicken Dance' at reception.
"Being told 'At least I didn't hop a bus to Vegas' every time she disagrees with John."
posted by Chase McInerney @ 7:10 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
So she "didn't feel like she really had done anything wrong."
It's not all that surprising that she'd be that selfish and clueless. She is, after all, a chick.
The real stunner is that I went on tv and professed my undying love for her. She may have left her car keys, but she apparently took my testicles to Vegas. If I don't end up leaving her at the altar or otherwise humiliating her publicly, then I will have disappointed the entire male nation.
I don't think she was running away from the groom, really. In every picture I saw, she had this wildly intense look on her face.
My theory is that she to Albuquerque looking for a cheap plastic surgeon to give her some goddamn eyelids.
That perma-expression freaks me out every time I see it -- it's almost as if she were a "Westworld" automaton, and if you took the plastic face panel off, all you would see were short-circuiting wires and a Da Vinci plate.
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