Cutaways, Take 11

Apparently Peter and Bobby Farrelly are close to signing a deal to remake 1972's The Heartbreak Kid. We're optimistic that the Farrellys will be able to inject some sympathy into the atypically dark Neil Simon-scripted comedy, the original of which starred Charles Grodin as a guy who is on his honeymoon when he falls in love with what Philip Roth would've dubbed the quintessential shiksa.

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Brett Ratner is slated to direct X-Men 3. Well, there goes the franchise.

But Ratner, not to be confused with the nerdy kid in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, but instead a moviemaker (OK, we're using the term loosely) whose credits include After the Sunset and Rush Hour 2, is busy reassuring folks that he's the right man for the director's chair. In an interview with MTV.com, he noted that his X-Men flick will have some humor to it. "Not jokes for the sake of jokes," he said, "jokes that come from character humor, that come from characters and that come from the situations."

What an artist. Jokes driven by -- what did he call it again? -- oh, yeah: "character." Ratner also says his movie will include other cutting-edge concepts, things he calls "conflict" and "dialogue" and "theme."

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Release of the dreck-destined Pink Panther remake has been pushed back a third time, meaning the Steve Martin comedy won't open until February, 2006. That's never a good sign, but then again, neither is having Martin's name in the credits these days.

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"The Simpsons" to hit the big screen. Mmmm ... Simpsony.

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For the trailer of the documentary Murderball, about paraplegicegic rugby, click here.

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Does the madness never end? Dark Horizons reports that a movie version of "Hawaii Five-O" is set to begin, and that Ben Affleck is interested in portraying the Steve McGarrett character. If anyone could capture the nuances of Jack Lord, it is Mr. Ben. We hear Affleck is also interested in the title role of the upcoming biopic about a little teapot.