Monday, April 17, 2006

Goin' South

The movie version of the 1970s' night-time soap opera, "Dallas," is set to star John Travolta as Texas oil mogul J.R. Ewing. Now, for those of us who live in the southern United States (or southwest, if you're talking Oklahoma, a state harboring some longtime identity problems) and saw Travolta's performance as the Bill Clinton stand-in in Primary Colors -- and not to mention Love Song for Bobby Long -- you know what this means:

Another God-awful, unconvincing southern accent.

Which reminds me of some other truly horrible ersatz southern accents from recent cinema. My worst five, in no particular order:

1. Keanu Reeves in The Devil's Advocate
2. John Turturro in The Secret Window
3. Nick Nolte in The Prince of Tides
4. Ewan McGregor in Big Fish
5. Michael Caine in Secondhand Lions

Any additions? (For what it's worth, No Rest has its worst 10 here).


At 10:00 AM, Anonymous turtleboi said...

No list of atrocious southern accents is complete without the grandadddy of them all - Kevin Costner in JFK! Or, for that matter, Laurie Metcaff in JFK. Or what about Sissy Spacek? And while John Candy and Joe Pesci are certainly very entertaiuning in that movie, their accents leave much to be desired. Come to think of it, Tommy Lee Jones aside, JFK may be the biggest parade of ear-splittingly bad souther accents ever committed to celluloid.

At 10:40 AM, Blogger Larry Mondello said...

Dustin Hoffman in Runaway Jury

At 3:26 PM, Blogger Daniel Gale-Grogen said...

My vote goes with the entire cast of "Wild At Heart," but that's part of what made it so entertaining.

"I'm not gonna piss on your head, your hair and all, I'm just gonna piss in the toilet. Ya'll take a listen, you'll hear the deep sound comin' down from Bobby Peru."

At 4:24 PM, Anonymous turtleboi said...

"Dis room got the smell o puuuuuke!"


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