Thursday, April 13, 2006

Sex Tape Derby, Round 48

Welcome to another edition of Sex Tape Derby, the other white meat. At any rate, here's the quandary: Let's say you must view the sex mischief of a celebrity, and not just some soft-core Skinemax version, either; we mean the whole sweaty enchilada.

That being the case, who would you rather watch? Post your selections in the comments section below. And then knock three times on the ceiling -- just for the hell of it.

For a further explanation, click here if you're just plain dense.

"My Name Is Earl"'s Jamie Pressly or ...














Supermodel Molly Sims?











Swing dat bat: Derek Jeter or ...













Alex Rodriguez?

4 Comments:

At 6:16 AM, Anonymous J. Torre said...

Hey, ya'll.. that might be that worst lookin' pitchur I ever seen a' Jamie, an' I'd STILL like ta watch 'er warsh mah truck.

A-Rod (who already has a porn-quality nickname) would put up impressive stats early in the video, but would come up "short" when the pressure is on and the director is counting on the money shot.

 
At 9:34 AM, Anonymous Dr. Pants said...

1. Molly wins in a landslide. Jaime Pressly may win funny points on "Earl," but she's still uber-trashy. And not hot uber-trashy, either.

Molly, on the other hand, is just straight up hot. Resting body temp of 102-degrees hot.

2. They're both Yankees, so I've no doubt a sex tape with either of them would include them sodomizing the other before blowing Steinbrenner.

 
At 11:32 AM, Anonymous Brick Fuchwahl said...

1. Jamie might be trashier than I-35 after OU-Texas, but her pixel trail after years of layouts indicates that a video might, in fact exist. The woman is so flexible, she could wrap herself 10 times around a brass pole.

Suddenly, Don Cheadle as Maurice in "Out of Sight" interjects: "Or my dick!"


But since we're talking about a pure hypothetical where a Molly Sims video would, in fact, exist, I would not only choose the Molly tape, but I would convert it to DVD and mp4 and place a copy in a time capsule. Then, 50 years from now, people would open it and see what sex was really like.

2. Jeter did Jordana Brewster, Jessica Alba and the beloved Scarlett. A-Rod strikes out!

 
At 9:59 PM, Anonymous Athena said...

Jaime just has that homey feel like cheese grits at the dinner table.

Steroid season has started so I'm betting the Yankees' sex tape would be sort of sad and boring.

 

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