Thursday, April 20, 2006

Sex Tape Derby, Round 49

By Daniel Gale-Grogen

You have to know how this works by now, right? A shadowy figure places two padded envelopes on your doorstep. You open both envelopes -- because you're stupid and unaware of the dangers of opening strange packages -- and you find that each contains a videotape. The label on each tape says, "So-And-So Blah-Blah Sex Tape: Hot and Saucy!" But your VCR is about to die on you, and you can only play one of the tapes. Which do you choose?

Chloe Sevigny of "Big Love" or...

Ginnifer Goodwin of "Big Love"?

Hugh Grant of "American Dreamz" or...

Dennis Quaid of "American Dreamz"?


At 1:03 PM, Blogger Larry Mondello said...

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At 3:40 PM, Blogger Dr. Pants said...

1. Ginnifer. One, because she's got the curves, and two, because I don't think she's boned Vincent Gallo.

If I want to see someone fuck a pale skeleton, I'll just go to the "Rec Room" at the mortuary.

2. Hugh Grant, because he is literally going insane. Those tapes are going to be either fucking hot or goddamn nuts. Or both.

What does Dennis Quaid bring to the table? Is there some flick of him and Topher Grace jacking off together? No thanks.

At 5:03 PM, Anonymous Ben Stiller said...

What the? How can we have a Big Love showdown without OK's own dee-diddily-icious Jeanne Tripplehorn?


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