Sex Tape Derby, Round 71
Ahh, fall is in the air and it's Sex Tape Derby day. All is right with the world.
OK, enough wonderment. You know the drill: Let's say you absolutely, unequivocally must watch a hardcore homemade sex tape or DVD. Who would be your choice to swing from the rafters? Post your selections in the comments section below.
Right-wing pundit Michelle Malkin or ...
Right-wing pundit Laura Ingraham?
Hugh Jackman or ...
Russell Crowe?
posted by Chase McInerney @ 12:01 AM
8 comments
8 Comments:
1. Wow. OK. Ingraham looks kind of like a punk rock girl and as long as she doesn't stop halfway through to espouse repealing the death tax, she wins. To be fair, Gene Shalit could go up against Malkin here and win.
2. Because I'm a fan of fighting AND screwing, I give this one to Mr. Crowe, with the caveat that the tape does not include either Meg Ryan or a soundtrack by his band. Jackman loses because, except for Wolverine, I think I might hate everything he's ever done.
What's the deal with all the hot, skanky, right-wing vixen-pundits coming out of the woodwork these days? Bunch of rich, spoiled sluts who've never worked a day in their lives, obviously. I'll spank them with my hard cover IWW song book.
What's the deal with all the hot, skanky, right-wing vixen-pundits coming out of the woodwork these days? Bunch of rich, spoiled sluts who've never worked a day in their lives, obviously. I'll spank them with my hard cover IWW song book.
In keeping with our new standards for coersion, both need to be stripped and spanked with a rolled-up copy of The Weekly Standard, then waterboarded in Karo syrup, then put into a naked pyramid with Man Coulter and Kellyanne Conway and then all should be forced to give one another deep, loving, penetratingly hot kisses.
This was a tought choice, but them I checked out Laura's website. Oh my! What a hottie! She kind of reminds me of that C-licking workout guru, Jackie. Except here there is no time wasted in the dugout trying to get Laura to change teams. The hair is short, but just long enough to grab a fist full and hold on for dear life - because like any good Repub the back door is always open. I thought this was going to be a hate fuck - I do not know why I doubted you Chase.
Well, great. I thought I could recoup my early football losses by betting on Pants to take the comic book character. Thanks a lot, Doc. Now I’ll have to sell my spleen to Chrissy Simms before Fat Tony breaks my legs.
And when did Lucinda Williams change careers?
1. Michelle Malkin, except that she probably supports taking the guy who gave her a Dirty Sanchez/Cleveland Steamer combo platter and shoving him into an internment camp.
2. Russell Crowe: less dancing and more fighting!
Considering your latest post on Screech, that first choice is easy. On the horns of a dilemma, I'll take both Laura and Michelle in a menage a trois.
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