Sex Tape Derby, Round 73
Howdy, folks, and welcome to Thursday's edition of Sex Tape Derby. The question is this: If you absolutely, positively, unequivocally had to watch some serious throwdown in a homemade sex videotape, who would you rather watch getting all savage-like? Be honest, and post your selections in the comments section below.
The Little Mermaid's Ariel or ...
The ol' Chicken of the Sea mermaid?
Kim Jong Il or ...
Hugo Chavez?
posted by Chase McInerney @ 8:11 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Obviously, the Chicken of the Sea tape would have to include some muff diving from Jessica Simpson, so we could hear the “am I eating chicken or tuna” line.
Ariel’s tape would surely be freaky. As a Disney employee, she must have some seriously pent-up aggression just waiting to explode. Kinda like Whitlock when he left ESPN.
1. Ariel wins because Ariel has a vagina. That is, if we're voting on post-mermaid Ariel and not pre-sex organ Ariel.
Oh, who am I kidding. She wins, vag or no, because she's hot. I wanted her in 1989 and I want her now.
GIMME GIMME!
2. Hugo, because Latinos are Lusty. Kim looks a little too much like the puppet in "Team America" for me. I mean, I'm not even sure that picture is really him or a member of Jim Henson's studio.
1. Ariel. Because she wears a purple shell bra and those are so hot right now.
2. Kim Jong Il. Everyone knows Koreans are awesome in bed.
1. Ariel is so hot, you just know the old Disney animation team put together some "too hot for ABC" sequences. Horny old cel artists probably gave her a Brazilian, too.
2. Chavez, because Kim just looks like he spends all his time yanking it to "The Little Mermaid."
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