Three Wishes
OK, let's recap.
The Democrats regain control of the House.
The Democrats might be taking control of the Senate.
Donald Rumsfeld steps down.
What wonderful miracle is next? An all-Nicole Kidman TV network? Money and cheeseburgers raining down from the heavens? Monkeys will wash my car?
posted by Chase McInerney @ 12:34 PM
7 comments
7 Comments:
I think if you get money and cheeseburgers raining from the heavens, you have the motive and the means to get monkeys to wash your car.
All that, plus we get the exciting bonus of the pending collapse of Western civilization! The new dark ages are gonna be a blast, folks!
Hey, welcome back, Red Dirt! Buddy!
You must have gotten so drunk last night, vital organs ended up in the toilet.
Monkeys? You want monkeys? These are the funniest damn ads ever:
www.trunkmonkey.com
Hey, that wasn't me. I'm coming out of my self-imposed monkish silence to comment, because this is simply too rich a topic to pass up.
I do agree with the sentiment, Anonymous -- though I'm curious about your connection of the pending dark ages to Rumsfeld's regignation. He wasn't exactly Socrates or anything. His "Confucius say" press conference moments were highly entertaing, however, and will be missed.
I would submit that the new dark ages are already here, Anonymous, it's just that most Americans don't realize it yet. I mean, when poor women are being paid for aborted fetuses so that wealthy women can receive fetal tissue injections in their buttocks, thighs and stomachs as a "regenerative" treatment ... well, there's not much left for the downward slide into barbarity, is there? And no, I didn't make that up; it was reported in the London Daily News on August 7th.
The Democrats' victories certainly provided some migraine moments for me last night, Brad. But last night wasn't the beginning our dark ages. We're already pretty far down the road into that. And I'm also philosophical enough to know that things like the coming peak oil collapse, the looming entitlements disaster, planet desertification, the reestablishment of the caliphate and its global dominion over an America alone using nuclear jihad ... neither party will solve any of those things.
We have lost civilizational confidence -- and both parties are a part of that. So we'll lose the clash over the next 20 years (as the New Yorker reported, Al Qaeda has it all mapped out in a master plan document that seems to be going swimmingly).
Meanwhile, the postmodern miasma is well on its way to sucking what's left of our culture into black oblivion. And each year our nation's broken families provide fresh crops of sociopaths to go forth into the maelstrom.
I have already come to accept that Western civ is headed for a big crash. Thus, I'm just enjoying the last decadent days while I can still afford to frequent Starbucks. I figure I should enjoy: When we're all living under the dome, and I'm fighting a rat for that last Snickers' bar, I'll have some good memories.
Cheers!
You should come bowling with us (Nov. 25, 8 p.m., 66 Bowl — Doc Pants will also be there) to celebrate!
LiteraryTech, I wouldn't mind being a scribe in the "A Canticle for Leibowitz" monastery, if it comes to that. For whatever reason, only God knows why, scribblers are useful in just about any age. As much as an intellectual poseur as I am, I would be able to get away with being the learned wise man, too, just because I could throw around wild-eyed references to Joseph Conrad, Euripedes and Augustine. ;-)
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